In case any of you were wondering, I didn't make it. I thought I was pretty clear from the beginning that lead guitar (not solo's but lead parts) were not really my thing. I can play a variety of instruments and I have a good musical ability. I can sing and write songs. I have rhythm and a good ear for music. I can play rhythm guitar, bass, mandolin, etc. But, for some reason, the lead worshiper wanted me to try out for lead guitar. Knowing that she likes to stretch people, I figured I'd give it a shot. Considering that I've NEVER played anything like that before and I went from 0 to adequate in five days....I thought I did pretty well. Plus, I worked 40+ hours, had a relative staying with us for a visit, and had to limit my practicing to late at night (for the most part). I wasn't great by any stretch of the imagination. Since this was outside my comfort zone, I was nervous and it showed. I would hit an occasional bad note or would miss the first note of a solo part because I was wrapping up a lead part and couldn't get my fingers to move fast enough down the fretboard to hit the beginning note of a solo. And because of nerves, I biffed a part of my own song (one that I had written). On top of that, I don't think the lead worshiper really liked my style. She didn't say that, but you can tell these things. She basically said that lead guitar is out for me and that my voice and style don't fit well with her vision for Forefront. My only option is the bass. However, she encouraged me to spend the next four or five months learning the bass and praying about it before I tried to audition again. Obviously, my musical ability didn't show through in this audition because I had asked her during the audition if I needed to try out again for bass if the lead guitar thing didn't work out. She answered that she would be able to judge my ability for bass during this audition and that I wouldn't need to audition again. So, the fact that I would need to audition again tells me that I must have looked like a musical novice.
I will be buying a bass in the next couple of months. I will be learning it and spending time mastering the instrument. But, I haven't decided yet if I want to audition again. I need to pray about it. Think about it. Decompress. Process.
I am confident enough in my musical abilities to know that despite what the worship leader says (or how I translated her comments), I am still a good musician. However, as an artist, I would be lying if I said my ego wasn't bruised.
7 comments:
You are an amazing musician, though! I understand your discouragement, however! Just know that your family believes in you!
I'm really saddened to hear this, man. It actually really upsets me. Not the fact that you didn't get the "lead parts" down... those aren't you; you're a fabulous musician, but you're not a solo-er... and you don't have to be. There are a couple of things that upset me here: the worship leader demanding that you know how to play the song exactly as the original artist wrote it, and the denying of a church member (who obviously has talent and desire) who wants to be a part of the worship team.
Worship songs don't need to be played exactly as the original artist wrote them. To limit oneself to that orchestration means to limit what God can do with the song in your congregation. I hate (with a perfect hatred, mind you) when worship leaders do this. It limits the creativity of themselves and the musicians they lead with, and the reach that each song can have with that congregation in worshiping Christ.
The part about telling you "no" just burns me though. The only people I tell "no" to are persons who obviously don't have the talent to play in a worship band at this time in their life. If someone can even carry a tune or just rhythm through a song, they're on team. Style is not a question when it comes to someone wanting to help lead people in praise. Telling you that she won't hear you play bass right now because she can "judge your ability" from seeing you play instrumentation that you're not used to is just ridiculous. This is a ministry! You, as the lead worshiper, are not just leading the congregation in praise (that in no way needs to sound like a professional recording), but you're ministering to the musicians in your congregation.
Again, this saddens me.
I agree with JR. Is she deaf? At our church anyone with a hint of musical ability, but a deep longing to worship is accepted as long as they agree to attend the rehearsals and services required. We than place them into the worship program so that they can grow along with the rest of the team.
We also don't ask people to play an instrument they aren't familiar with. If a drummer auditions, we ask him to play the drums. If a bass is their best instrument than play that.
God is more concerned with the worshipers heart for worship than their "outstanding" ability. The thing that always amazes me is that no matter how terrible we think we sound, God honors our earnest praise and sends the Holy Spirit to minister to those we are leading into the presence of God.
Also, having listened to her sing while there.... she's not all that and a bag of chips either. Maybe she feels threatened?
Don't give up... God asks us to play skillfully and with an earnest heart. Your heartfelt praise is more precious to Him than all the most professional and skilled musicians on the earth.
Worship your heart out at home, practice and teach your sons the benefits of home worship and when your solo CD goes platinum, you can go to whatever church you please and she'll just have to deal with it.
As a side note: a while ago, I was playing your CD at work on my itunes and my pastor asked what song I was listening to. I told him it was a song my son wrote and performed in honor of his grandmother's memorial. He said it was a good song, very well done and very meaningful...and mind you, he writes songs professionally that are used on PraiseCharts.com
I agree that it was really inappropriate of your director to ask you to play a lead guitar solo that you are unfamiliar with. You are a very talented musician, but even talented musicians who hold down full time jobs in non-music professions need more time than she gave you to practice.
I wonder if having a church that large makes her feel that she has to have studio musicians to bring in a bigger congregation and more donations?
Everyone who has heard your memorial song for Mom thinks it sounds professional. Don't give up. It may be the wrong instrument, or the wrong congregation, but you have a lot to offer to someone who is paying attention.
I really can't add anything that has already been said. Other than just remain faithful (which I now you will) to the calling God's placed on your life. He will open up the right door for you.
You are gifted!!
Chris,
You can be Lead Guitarist, Lead Soloist and Bass player in my band anytime. Just let me know when your ready.
Thanks everyone for your encouraging comments. Please don't get me wrong though. I think Forefront is a great church. Granted, they have only been a church for 1 year (a new church plant), and they are fairly small still (only about 150 people). They are still learning and growing. They are humans and like all humans they sometimes make mistakes. Not that not chosing me for lead guitar was a mistake because as I said before...I am not a lead guitarist. But, I am not disgruntled in the least. I am still proud to be a Forefronter. I believe that the worship leader is trying to do the best job that she can, the best way that she knows how. But, in no way was I trying to discredit her or the worship team in any way, shape, or form. I do admit, my ego was hurt...but I know that music is still a part of who I am and with or without an outlet at Forefront, I will still pursue what I am passionate about. Anyway...thanks again for your encouragement! It means a lot to me.
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