Chris' Night Terrors (My Poor Wife)

When we got married, I promised my wife "Never a dull moment." I do my best to keep that promise. One of the ways I keep her on her toes is by having vivid and physical dreams that creep into my being awake and involve some sleep walking or other movement. I often see dreams of mechanical robot arms or spiders coming down from the ceiling. I'm halfway awake...so I reach for the ceiling and ask Joi "Do you see that?"...to which she groans and says "You're dreaming. Go back to sleep!" I had a dream where Gage was standing on top of our T.V. hutch in our bedroom and was about to fall. I jumped out of bed and rushed to catch him...in real life. Joi woke up because of all of the commotion and I explained that I was trying to catch Gage. She said that I was probably dreaming and put me back to bed. One night, I woke up to see Joi crying in the corner of the room. I got up and crouched down to console her. I rubbed her face and shoulders for a minute before I realized that I was crouching in front of one of my guitar cases in my room and was caressing it. Joi didn't wake up for this one, but I told her about it the next day. Another night, I was having a dream where I was fighting with someone and I full on punched my nightstand...hard. If I had been facing Joi, she might have woken up with a black eye. I'm glad I was facing the other way at that moment. A couple of nights ago, I woke up Joi telling her that there were skeletons on her back. I still don't know what that was about. I don't remember the dream. Joi told me about it the next day. Last night, I jumped up to catch a box that was teetering on the edge of our T.V hutch about to fall on Joi. I jumped up to catch it and was yelling something like "No...no...no." Joi woke up and told me I was dreaming. While I stood (yes, stood) on the edge of our bed trying to catch a box that wasn't there, I shouted..."I'm not dreaming this time!" After I realized that the only things on top of the T.V. hutch are some framed pictures, I realized that I was dreaming and went back to bed.

My poor wife. I'm sure I'm skipping quite a few funny stories about my sleep walking/night terrors. This happens fairly frequently. She doesn't fall asleep as easily as I do...so I know that she loses sleep because of these episodes. After one of these events, I can lay down, plop my head back on the pillow, and be snoring in seconds. Joi, however, isn't so lucky. I'm thankful that I never cohabitated with Joi before we got married, or I'm not sure she would have gone through with it knowing what be in store for her. Oh well..."Never a dull moment!"