American Idol Finale and Janet Jackson's Largest Muscle

So, we watched most of this season of American Idol. We watched some of the auditions, skipped ahead to the final 12, and watched from then on. American Idol, for the most part, is a joke. It's really not a singing competition, as they say it is. It's a popularity contest. But, since they are creating pop stars, I guess it makes sense. I enjoy watching it because I am a musician/singer and I enjoy critiquing them and seeing some artists grow and develop while others shrink and fall apart. It's like watching a car wreck. It's awesome and awful all at the same time. Anyway, the fact that Lee DeWyze won proved to me that it's not a singing competition. Crystal blew him out of the water in the finals with her vocals. Lee was shaky and "pitchy" in spots and just didn't deliver like Crystal did. But, Lee won. Popularity. The 12-16 year old girl market really came through for Lee. I mean, he does have dreamy eyes and a mysterious aura about him. I can see why the girls voted him through. He can sing....just not as well as Crystal.

Anyway, the Finale was a star-studded cavalcade. Alice Cooper opened the show with "School's Out". I love Alice Cooper, but he sounded terrible. Poor guy. It's almost like he couldn't hear himself in his inner-ear monitors. He was way off key and raspy. Not a good start. But, I still love ya, Alice. Then some other stars performed. Blah, blah, blah, yawn...Christina Aguilera...blah, blah, blah...more yawns. Alanis Morissette performed with Crystal. I like both of their voices, but I didn't care for how they sounded together. Then Janet Jackson came out. With her short hair she looked like a 80 year old Eartha Kitt. She just looked old. She performed "Nasty Boys" and even tried to do the same dance moves from her video in the 80's. Awkward. Then she striped down to a skin-tight body suit. Now...let's back up for a little background. Joi has been teaching the boys science and they are learning about their bodies. Joi recently taught them that the gluteus maximus is the body's largest muscle. So fast forward, Garrison walks into the room while Janet Jackson was performing in her skin-tight body suit and exclaims..."Wow, her largest muscle is HUGE!" Cracked me up!

In other news, we have been looking for a BBQ since we sold ours before we moved to Colorado. But, being frugal and trying to pay off debt has caused us to be very careful with our money. We've been checking yard sales and Craigslist to no avail. Yesterday, my sister-in-law was at a yard sale and found a BBQ that was in pretty good condition. She asked how much and he said $10. Then that guys neighbor had a propane tank that he was willing to sell her for $5. Steff called Joi and asked if we wanted it. Joi said "YES!" So, she bought it and loaded it into her Suburban. A couple hours later, we have a new BBQ. It needs some cleaning and I'm not entirely sure if it works yet. But, for $15, we can afford to purchase a few new parts to get it working and pretty. It's a Kenmore with a temperature gauge and a side burner. It's a nice grill. I can't wait to start fixing it up. If it works, I'll be grilling meat by Saturday.....just in time for Memorial Day. I've been really blessed lately. There were a few things that I've wanted for years and in the last two weeks, I've gotten three of them, used, and cheap. A Daddy Chair, a Bass Guitar, and a BBQ. How cool is that? God, my wife, and my sister-in-law love me! I'm happy as a clam.

Popsicle Sticks, Twine, Duct-tape, Chili Beans and Sleeping in the Bathroom

Ah ha! I knew the title would draw you in. So, what in the world can I concoct out of a blog title like that, you may ask? I'm sure Joi already knows. But, of course, she has an advantage because she lives with me. If you lived with me, you'd probably know too. So, want the mystery to finally end? Okay...here goes.

My boys love popsicle sticks, twine, and duct-tape. Every day when I get home from work, I find new contraptions built by my boys all around the house. Yesterday, Gage and Garrison showed me their new airplanes/space ships. Gage made a star-fighter design complete with laser guns (which he made the sound effects for). He even figured out that if he left some of the tape sticky side out, he could attach an action figure to it and do aerial tricks without the action figure falling out. Genius! Garrison made a square basket out of popsicle sticks and glue and attached wings to it made out of duct tape with a popsicle stick super-structure. Of course, he also added popsicle stick "bazookas" to each wing because in his estimation a bazooka could do some damage to another airplane. Also, both Garrison and Gage had constructed swords and shields made completely out of popsicle sticks and duct-tape. Complete with an arm strap to hold the shield onto their arm. Also, Gage added some twine to make a belt for his sword. It's awesome to me that a little twine, duct-tape, and popsicle sticks could entertain my boys for hours upon end. If you ever wanted to get a gift for my boys, a box of popsicle sticks, duct-tape, and twine would excite them beyond belief. Seriously!

So, on to Chili Beans and Sleeping in the Bathroom. Gavin decided to do a little exploring in his sleep a couple of nights ago. I woke up at 12:30am and saw that the bathroom light was on and the door was closed. Garrison is the only boy who turns on the light and closes the door when he uses the bathroom in the middle of the night...so I didn't think anything of it. I sunk back down into my pillow and went back to sleep. Joi woke up an hour later and saw the same thing and decided to investigate. When she opened the bathroom door, the light woke me up and I joined her to see what was going on. And there he was. Gavin was curled up on the bathroom mat, sound asleep (with the light on...no less). We woke him up and asked him what he was doing. He was too asleep to respond. After standing him up, we were able to ask him if he needed to go potty. He looked at Joi with a "what are you talking about?" expression and said "No." So, I put him back to bed. He doesn't even remember that he was in there at all. Strange boy! Takes after his Dad.

Last night, Gavin wasn't feeling well. We think his allergies are kicking in and he was stuffy and couldn't breathe very well. He woke up a lot last night either whimpering or talking in his sleep. I went in there to see what was up and he mumbled a lot. But, I was able to discern that him arms hurt. Joi came in a few minutes later and Gavin explained that something was jumping on him. Joi asked what. He said "A bean". Joi said "Like a chili bean?" and he said "Yes." We figured he was just having a bad dream. A little while later, he started crying. So, I went back in to see what was up. This time he explained that his arms were tingling. Oh! It was all coming together now. His arms were asleep and to him the best way he could explain it was that a bean was jumping on him. I turned him on his back and told him that he needed to let the blood rush back into his arms and that the tingling was from them being asleep. Joi got up with him several other times throughout the night (Thanks, by the way)...and he kept complaining about his arms hurting or them being asleep. He even told Joi..."I don't want my arms to be asleep! I want to be asleep!" and "I just can't do this anymore." Poor kiddo! He had a miserable night sleeping. He desperately needs a new mattress. This might be part of the problem. Since his bed is on the floor (we push it under the bunk beds during the day and pull it out at night), his bed often becomes a trampoline or a landing zone when the boys start jumping from the top bunk. As a result, his mattress has some serious internal spring issues. Time to start looking for a new mattress.

Lost Season Finale, Part 2

I'm still processing. I watched some of the two hour pre-finale episode last night to see if it reminded me of anything or answered any questions for me. But, I didn't make it all the way through due to being tired from getting 6 hours of sleep the night before when watching the Finale. Steve had some good answers to my questions in my previous blog post (Thanks, man!). Also, I know that the writers said that they were going to leave lots of questions and their answers up to our own interpretation. But, in retrospect, there were so many loose ends that never tied up or things that were introduced that never had any resolution...that I'm still struggling to make sense of the whole thing. Here's a video from a guy with as many questions as I have about Lost.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Lost Series Finale

Lost ended last night. The series finale was 2.5 hours long. Joi and I stayed up until 11:30pm watching it (which is a big deal for both of us). I'm still processing the finale. I'm not sure how I feel about it. There were times during the show when I was giddy like a school-boy. There were other times I was sad or emotional. There were some awesome moments and there were LOTS of questions left unanswered. Some of the glaring questions that I wanted answered that are left hanging are these:

• What was the black smoke monster? Was it bad brothers soul? The devil? Why did it make that sound like a roller coaster track and a Jurassic Park dinosaur? Why did it take pictures of their thoughts when it analyzed a person before it destroyed them? 
• What was the light at the center of the island? Why did it go red and weird when the stone was moved? Why did it go back to light when the stone was put back? Who made the pool in the area where the light was? Why did the water stop flowing when the stone was removed and start again when the stone was put back?
• What did the Dharma initiative have to do with anything? Why did they waste so much time on the Dharma initiative if it was all about Jack's test to see if he was a good guy or a bad guy?
• What happened to the bad people on the island that didn't make it to the church and move on?
• Was the sideways reality real or not?
• What happened to Mr. Eko?
• Why did Jack's dad...who was a jerk and a drunk most of the series...become so nice in the last scene
• Who made the giant four toed Egyptian statue that Jacob lived in?
• How did Jacob's step-Mom get on the island and how long was she there before Jacob's real mom arrived?
• What did the game that Jacob and his brother played have to do with anything? There was a constant theme of black versus white on the show...what was the significance of that? Good vs evil? 

I think I liked the finale. It was entertaining. But, I really wanted more questions answered. I'll have to watch it again and see what other Losties think online before I'll know definitively if I liked it or not.

Circus in Town

Yesterday, the circus was in town. Well....maybe not our town, but close enough. So, last night we took the 30 minute drive to Brighton, CO to see the Jordon World Circus. The Ferris family joined us for the evening. It was the kids first circus experience. I remember going to the Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Circus when I was a kid. I don't even remember who I went with, but I do remember wanting to be a clown or a juggler afterward.
The Jordon World Circus was a small circus, but you couldn't tell by the price. The kids got in free because we got coupons, but Joi and I had to pay $17.00 per ticket to get in. Certainly not cheap. But, it was the boys' first circus experience...so we went for it. The boys were excited about seeing their first circus and we talked excitedly on the way about possibly seeing lions, tigers, and bears (Oh my!). There were tigers. Beautiful Siberian Tigers. They were probably my favorite part of the show. Their tricks were nothing to be excited about, but they were just so beautiful to see close up. They did jump through a burning hoop, which made me and my boys giddy. There were also bears. Again, the tricks were not exciting...but during the intermission, we got within a few feet of the bear and took a couple pictures. I said "Boys...hopefully this is as close as you will ever get to a real bear." There were elephants...and Joi pointed out that they just looked sad. They did look sad...which prompted a conversion on the way home about how God created these animals to be free and wild and that caging them and forcing them to do tricks is just not what God created these animals to do. There was one clown and he was the lamest clown I have ever seen. He wasn't funny. He was almost lewd. Picture an old drunk uncle dressed up like a clown trying to be funny...but just being gross and stupid. That was this guy. They had various types of aerial acrobatics. Unfortunately, the women were dressed inappropriately. Women in body suits, thongs, and exploding cleavage...just didn't seem kid friendly to me. My boys turned to me and asked if they should look. I told them to watch the guy in the group or to watch the stage crew disassemble the cages. It was just uncomfortable and inappropriate.There were motorcycle guys in a steel ball riding around in circles. That was pretty cool, but it filled the indoor arena with toxic exhaust fumes and made me dizzy. In retrospect, it was a somewhat disappointing experience. Perhaps we should have waited for the Ringling Brothers to come into town. The boys did seem to enjoy themselves and seeing some of those exotic animals up close was pretty darn cool. I just remember the circus being so magical when I was a kid. The Jordon World Circus didn't live up to my expectations. I'd post pics...but most of them turned out too dark. The lighting was weird. Anyway...so much for the circus. Maybe a better one will come into town someday and we'll try again.

Happy Early Father's Day To Me!

I've received a couple Father's Day presents early this year. I'm very excited about both of them. Let me start with a little background about the first present. I've wanted a "Daddy Chair" since I became a Father over 8 years ago. When I was growing up, I spent a lot of time at my Grandparents house. For as long as I can remember, Grandpa had a special chair. It was his throne. More often than not, if you wanted to find him, he'd be in that chair (if he wasn't in the kitchen or garage). Now, I don't want to be a Dad that's glued to a chair...but bare with me. I have many special memories of Grandpa and that chair. When he'd get up to sneak some oreos and a Pepsi, I'd bum rush the chair and sit in it...just so I could hear Grandpa say "Now what do you think you're doing?" when he returned to reclaim his throne. Even if he was gone, that chair would smell like Grandpa and I'd feel like he was really there (it's funny to be nostalgic about cigarette smoke, farts, and automotive oil scents...isn't it?). I would sit on Grandpa's lap on that chair when I was small enough to do that and he'd brush his whiskers across my face and make me laugh. I can't tell you the amount of times I gave Grandpa the arm-wrestling hand-shake from that chair as I was saying goodbye. Just a few days before he died, I gave him that same handshake...he was in the same spot in the living room but his chair was replaced with a hospital bed. I've wanted a Daddy chair so that my kids can have special memories of me and that chair, too. I wanted to snuggle with my kids while we watched TV or a special movie. I want to play silly games with them when they steal my chair when I get up to get some ice cream. I want a place where my boys can sit when I am at work and smell me (hopefully they will smell my cologne Obsession and not flatulence and cigarettes)....and feel like I am nearby. I want a place where my wife can sit comfortably for her bible times and reading. Well, Joi made my dreams come true this weekend. She was looking at yard-sales when she found a nice chair. She sent me to look at it and it was beautiful, in good condition, and matched our living room. Also, it was only $40 and not the several hundred dollars that new chairs like this can be. I was stoked. I bought it and the nice man at the yard sale loaded it up in his truck and delivered it to me. Here's a pic of my new Daddy chair. It even reclines. I love it. It's so comfortable.

The other present that I got from my wife and kids early for Fathers Day was this. I have been wanting a regular bass for a while. I have a stand-up fretless bass that I inherited from my Step-Father, but I need more experience with a regular bass before I will be ready to tackle a fretless. Anyway...Joi said that she'd get me a bass if I could find one for less than $150. I started scanning Craigslist and didn't really find anything to my liking. A friend recommended pawn-shops, but I feel nervous buying something with electronics in it that I can't try out before I buy it. Then I heard about a music store in town called "Music Go Round". It's a music store that specializes in used instruments. They have an in-house guitar shop that fixes them up and they sell them for cheap. I went to the store on Sunday and found a few basses that I liked, but there was on bass in particular that stood out. It was a Fender Squire Affinity P-Bass. It was a deep red color with a white pick guard and silver knobs. It was beautiful. There were no scratches, dings, or dents. It was like whoever owned it before bought it, kept it in it's case, and never played it. It was pristine. In addition, it was only $139.99. These basses usually go for about $300.00. I wasn't sure about the color, but when my wife said she thought red guitars were sexy, I knew it had to be mine. I put it on hold and they said they would fix it up for me. They lowered the action, cleaned the pots, oiled the finger board, and made it look and sound pretty. I picked it up last night. Here's my new baby.

It plays like a dream and it's got a warm and beautiful sound. I just love it. I am already so blessed and it's not even Father's Day yet. Thank you wife and boys for making my yet-to-be Father's day already the greatest one ever. I love you!

Colorado Craigslist Sucks

So far, there is only one thing about Colorado that I don't like. The Craigslist here sucks. Maybe it's not the Craigslist, maybe it's the people. It's the same Craigslist here and in California. But, in California when I put things up for sale, they were snatched up....quickly. People responded to my add, followed up, and fought to buy it first. Unfortunately, in Colorado, I can't say the same thing. Here's what happens....

When I put something up on Craigslist here, I almost immediately get a response. Someone will write..."I'm really interested in your _____, is it still available?" I respond quickly with "Yes, it's still available, call  me at xxx-xxx-xxxx and I'll give you directions to my house so that you can take a look at it." Then, no call. No return email. Nothing. It's like they drop off the face of the earth after I respond. Yesterday, a guy (girl?) responded to one of my ads and said something similar to what I posted above....but they gave me their phone number. I responded via email like I describe above and told them to call me at 5pm so that I can give them directions. At 6:30pm, I decided to call them using the number they gave me. No answer. I left a message. No return call. I just don't get it. It's almost like Colorado is filled with a bunch of morons who don't know how to complete a transaction....which I know isn't the case. So far, everyone I have met here have been bright, courteous, and helpful. I just don't get what is going on. Anyone want to explain?

Gage's First Piano Recital

Gage decided he wanted to take piano lessons this year. Joi signed him up through the city recreation department. He learned a little about reading notes, playing with the right and left hand, and timing. He did great and diligently practiced at home on a keyboard we borrowed from the Ferris family. The instructor decided that "Yankee Doodle" was going to be his recital piece. He practiced every single day. Gage learned to play that piece with his eyes closed (literally...I made him try it with his eyes closed when I knew he had it memorized). On the big day, we all went to the recreation center and watched all of the students (who ranged in age from 5 to teenager) perform their pieces. Gage did a wonderful job. He didn't make any mistakes and played the piece with his right and left hand as the instructor and the sheet music dictated. Joi and I are very proud of him. Here's a video and some pictures from the recital, for those of you who live far away and weren't able to make it to his performance. Enjoy!

Our Friend Dirt

I remember watching stuff like this in grade-school. It's still as laughable now as it was then. Enjoy!

Go Celtics! Huh? What?

I can't believe that I'm rooting for the Celtics! Being a long time Lakers fan, the Celtics have a history of being the Lakers greatest nemesis. But, here I am...sincerely hoping that they will win tonight against the Cavs and knock them out of the playoffs. I HATE the Cavs! I can't stand LeBron James. He's talented, yes. But, he's got such a big head and poor sportsmanship to boot. He conceited and acts like a baby when he doesn't win or get his way. I remember last year when the Magic knocked them out of the playoffs and he stomped off the floor and went staight to the locker room to pout. He didn't congratulate the other team and wish them well. He didn't concede that they beat him fair and square. He threw a temper tantrum...like a 2 year old. So, I am giddy that LeBron and the Cavs are down 3-2 to the Celtics. I hope the Celtics come out and trounce them like they did in game 5. I'm looking for blood. Go Celtics! Those words still taste bitter in my mouth. I'm a Lakers fan after all.

Lost....truly lost.

I have been watching Lost since the second season (thanks to Dante who caught me up with digital downloads of Season 1). I've been watching it now for a few years. We are down to the last couple of episodes of the final season. Last night was an episode that centered on Jacob's story and his dark brother (who still remains nameless). I am as confused as ever. I thought they were going to start answering some questions, but all I am getting is a huge bag of more questions. To make matters worse, I used to have a group of fellow Losties that I could talk to about the previous episode. We'd bounce theories off of each other and give our opinion about what happened. Everyone would notice something different about the episode that helped put it into perspective. It helped me to talk about it to sort it all out. However, I don't have a group like that at UC Denver. As far as I know, no one here watches the show but me. My wife and I discuss the show afterward and that helps. I'd love to hear some outside opinions from my fellow Losties. What do you think? Some of the glaring questions about last nights episode are...

1. What is that light and why did it turn "dark-brother" into a smoke monster?
2. Was the "fake-mom" a smoke monster too? Is that how she killed everybody in the villiage?
3. If "fake-mom" is a smoke monster, how did she get into the light place in the first place?
4. If "dark-brother" was never able to complete the wheel that "hides" the island, because "fake-mom" buried it, who completed it?
5. Is it significant that Locke called "fake-mom" and "dark-brother's" bones their own "Adam and Eve"?
6. Where is it going from here? How in the world are they going to wrap up this show in just a couple more episodes?

Thoughts? Comments?

Worship Band Audition Follow Up

In case any of you were wondering, I didn't make it. I thought I was pretty clear from the beginning that lead guitar (not solo's but lead parts) were not really my thing. I can play a variety of instruments and I have a good musical ability. I can sing and write songs. I have rhythm and a good ear for music. I can play rhythm guitar, bass, mandolin, etc. But, for some reason, the lead worshiper wanted me to try out for lead guitar. Knowing that she likes to stretch people, I figured I'd give it a shot. Considering that I've NEVER played anything like that before and I went from 0 to adequate in five days....I thought I did pretty well. Plus, I worked 40+ hours, had a relative staying with us for a visit, and had to limit my practicing to late at night (for the most part). I wasn't great by any stretch of the imagination. Since this was outside my comfort zone, I was nervous and it showed. I would hit an occasional bad note or would miss the first note of a solo part because I was wrapping up a lead part and couldn't get my fingers to move fast enough down the fretboard to hit the beginning note of a solo. And because of nerves, I biffed a part of my own song (one that I had written). On top of that, I don't think the lead worshiper really liked my style. She didn't say that, but you can tell these things. She basically said that lead guitar is out for me and that my voice and style don't fit well with her vision for Forefront. My only option is the bass. However, she encouraged me to spend the next four or five months learning the bass and praying about it before I tried to audition again. Obviously, my musical ability didn't show through in this audition because I had asked her during the audition if I needed to try out again for bass if the lead guitar thing didn't work out. She answered that she would be able to judge my ability for bass during this audition and that I wouldn't need to audition again. So, the fact that I would need to audition again tells me that I must have looked like a musical novice.

I will be buying a bass in the next couple of months. I will be learning it and spending time mastering the instrument. But, I haven't decided yet if I want to audition again. I need to pray about it. Think about it. Decompress. Process.

I am confident enough in my musical abilities to know that despite what the worship leader says (or how I translated her comments), I am still a good musician. However, as an artist, I would be lying if I said my ego wasn't bruised.

My Little Plumber

We been having some problems with our toilet lately. The chain keeps falling off the trip lever. Also, it was running a lot and wouldn't stop. Or it would run in small segments and then shut off (all night long). On top of that, there is a design flaw in the bathroom of the house we are renting. There is a counter top that runs from the sink and across the top of the toilet. There is just enough room to take the lid of the toilet tank off, but I can't really see inside the tank. Also, I can't put my hands or arms in there far enough to fix anything. When the chain falls off, I need to ask one of my boys to stick there arms in the tank and feel around for the chain. Gavin always volunteers, but then gets a little freaked out about putting his hand inside a dark, watery place that he can't see. Gage likes to watch, but hasn't volunteered yet. That left Garrison. He was willing to put his hand in the tank and find the chain. I had to convince him that he was putting his hand in clean water and not water that has been peed or pooped in. After that, he was all in. He'd find the chain and hand it to me or Joi and we'd reattach it back to the trip lever. The other day, I got tired of the running toilet so I took off the lid, and used a flash light to peer inside. I immediately found that the flapper wasn't seated at the base of the overflow tube. It had fallen off one of it's pins. As a result, it was not falling into place after a flush and you had to jiggle the flush handle to get it to seat properly. Garrison to the rescue. I brought him into the bathroom, showed him what was wrong, and let him do his thing. Within a couple of seconds, he had it back on the pin and in place. I was amazed at how quickly he fixed it. It hasn't run since. We were impressed. What an awesome little fix-it man!

The chain did fall off again yesterday and Garrison had to plunge his hand into the tank again to retrieve it. I tweaked it a little to help it stay in place and hopefully that won't happen again. But, I know that Garrison will be our man...until his hand and arm get too big like Daddy's to fit between the tank and the counter. Hopefully by then, we'll have our own home and won't be renting.

Happy Mothers Day from Me and Mr. T

It's Mothers Day! Happy Mothers Day to my Mom, my Step-Mom, and my wife (who, of course, is the brilliant Mother of my children)! Also, Happy Moms day to all of the Moms out there who read my blog! Being a Mom is a tiring, thankless job with few tangible rewards in this lifetime. But, Moms are special to those of us who have them (which is most of us). On behalf of everyone with Moms...I say, "Thanks!!!" We love you!!! As my gift to Mothers everywhere, I'll leave you with with Mr. T and this wonderful public service announcement from the 80's. Mothers...treat her right!

Worship Band Audition

I am auditioning for the worship band at our church tonight. I am nervous. I've auditioned for bands before, but this is probably the most extensive audition I have ever been a part of. The previous auditions I've been to were more like jam sessions. "Let see what you can do." Someone will play a riff and I'll join in. That kind of thing. This audition requires that I learn the lead guitar parts for two worship songs and to do third song of anything I would like to do to showcase my ability. Originally, I told the lead worshiper that I could play guitar, bass, mandolin, and dulcimer. I wouldn't mind playing any of those instruments, but I have really been craving to play the bass lately. In fact, Joi has informed me that she is going to buy me a bass guitar for Father's Day. I'm very excited. I had to sell my previous bass (Sorry Joe) to a guy in California in order to downsize before we left California and pay some bills. I miss the bass. But, I am excited about playing it again. I know our worship band is short some bass players...so if it works out, awesome! However, tonight, I am auditioning for lead guitar. Solo's don't bother me. I am fairly comfortable with them, but the "lead guitar" for the songs I am auditioning for are something quite different from solo's. The lead parts are intricate and fast. They require finger stretching that I haven't done in a long, long time. I've practiced every single night and I am having hand cramps due to getting my hands back up to speed. I will be playing "Rise and Sing" by Fee and "Hosanna" by Hillsong United. Both of these have some interesting lead parts that I am not used to doing. Since Cry for Mercy broke up in 1994, I haven't really played my electric guitars (other than briefly here and there). I've only really played the acoustic guitar for Late September and various other worship bands for the past sixteen years (can you believe it's been that long since CFM broke up?). I have a lot of rhythm guitar experience, but not as much lead guitar experience. Anyway, my electric guitars showed their age when I cracked open the cases and bats flew out. Both of my electrics had volume and tone pot issues (scratchy and static). I sprayed some electronic contact spray into them and they much better. When I restrung my Strat, the bridge started to pull out of the guitar. I opened the back and found that the screws holding the springs in place were pulling out of the guitar body. I screwed those back in and it seems better now. They both need professional tune-ups. After getting them usable, I plugged in the Line 6 Pod that I inherited from my Step-Father and fixed a couple issues that it had (missing cable - which turned out to be a computer network cable...and a missing nut). I plugged in the old Fender Jam Amp that I used in CFM. Still works. A little buzzy, but it still cranks. I found the MP3's and the sheet music for the two songs that I'll be doing. I've listened to nothing but these two songs over and over again all week as I rode the bus or light-rail to work. I watched online (Youtube) tutorials on how to play the lead parts for both songs. The funny part is that each of these tutorials played the lead parts differently. So, I had to pick and choose what I learned to match the original song by ear as closely as I could. I played along with the Youtube vids, with the mp3's, and by myself. I had nightmares at night where I showed up to the audition, pulled out my guitar, and there were no strings on it. Or another nightmare where I was at the audition and totally blanked out and forgot how to play guitar all together. Weird, huh? I've posted both of the songs that I will be playing tonight below. I'll probably do an original song for my third "showcase" song called "They Tore You Apart". It's not a lead-guitar song, but it does showcase some of my other ability (rhythm playing, song writing, and singing). I thought about doing the third video for my "showcase" song complete with the Indian accent. But, I think the only thing it would showcase is my sense of humor and my weirdness. If you pray, please remember me tonight at 6pm (Mountain Time) as I audition. Thanks! Enjoy the songs!

The Best Impersonator I Have Ever Heard

This bird is, by far, the best impersonator that I have ever heard. It's the Lyrebird from Australia. To attract a mate, these birds make the most intricate call they can muster and it many cases they mimic the sounds of other bird calls and sometimes artificial noises from their environment. This particular bird featured in the video was at a zoo that was apparently having some construction done. So, the bird accurately mimics the construction sounds. I can clearly hear hammering, an electric saw, a 2 way radio with a person talking, and other various electric tool sounds. Also, interspersed in the construction noises is the call of the Kookaburra. It's amazing. My late-Grandmother would sometimes say she was going to "send me to the Kookaburra's" when I was being feisty. For years I thought she made that name up. But, now I know they exist and I've heard a darn good impression of one.

Fireproof in 60 Seconds

My wife and I bought the movie Fireproof a few months back, but we hadn't gotten around to watching it until Monday night. It was an enjoyable movie. It had a great message. The acting was a little "hokey" at times. Kirk Cameron did a pretty good job...but some of his supporting actors were not as well versed. Anyway, a friend of ours turned us on to a special feature on the DVD called "Fireproof in 60 Seconds". They literally acted out pieces of the entire film to get right to the point and do the entire film in 60 seconds. You get all of the major pieces of the film...without all the extra acting and dialogue. If you've seen the movie, this will be hilarious. If you haven't seen the film, see it first. It's a good movie over all and it's got a great message about devoting yourself to a marriage and that love is a decision and not an emotion. Anyway...enjoy the Fireproof in 60 Seconds clip.