Empty Bed Syndrome

Last night, I suffered from what I am calling "Empty Bed Syndrome". My wife loves the Black Friday sales, so she and my boys spent the night at her sisters house so that they could go shopping together and so my boys could get some sleep. I had to work today, so I went home to sleep and prepare for my workday. Unfortunately, I didn't get much sleep. After arriving home, I straightened the house, ran and emptied the dishwasher, vacuumed, and watched a few minutes of "Strange Brew" on Netflix. At 9pm, I went upstairs to prepare for bed. The house was eerily quiet. There were no boys bouncing around and laughing/talking. No wife to talk to. It was weird. I brushed my teeth, got into my sleep-wear, and turned on the television so that there was some background noise. I watched a part of a documentary about the West by Ken Burns. I watched an old 1970's episode of Saturday Night Live with Fred Willard and Devo. I fast forwarded pretty much everything but the Devo performances. I watched another few minutes of the documentary about the West. By 10:30pm, I knew I needed to get to sleep. But, my house was too quiet and there was no wife next to me for warmth and comfort. I'm used to listening to the boys get up 16 times to use the bathroom....or talking in their sleep. I'm used to my wife snuggling with me and lulling me to sleep with her warm body. As a result, I tossed and turned. My lower back hurt, which made it hard to get comfortable. I watched the minutes tick by on my digital clock. By 12:30pm, I finally dozed off. But, my sleep was restless and fitful. I'd hear noises that would freak me out, so I'd sit up and look around to make sure everything was okay. There is something about having people in the house with you to make you feel secure. As I'm listening to the house creak or the neighbors through the walls, I began remembering every horror movie I ever saw and that made it harder to fall asleep. Every time I'd start to doze off, I'd hear a bump and would picture an axe wielding murderer hovering over me. This made it even more difficult to sleep. So, needless to say, I got less than five hours last night and most of it was not restful at all. I don't like being alone. For 99.9% of the past 12 years, I haven't had to deal with being alone. I like being married and having kids. I like the extra noise and the security of knowing the love of your life is sleeping beside you. My clock was set for 6am. At 5am-ish, my phone vibrated. I thought it was the weather forecast text that I get every morning, so I ignored it. A few minutes later, it vibrated again. I checked it and it was a text from my wife telling her to call her ASAP. I knew something was wrong. Previously during our Thanksgiving celebration we heard the news that Joi's Step-Dad collapsed and was taken to the hospital where they found out he had pneumonia. He wasn't doing well and they recommended hospice, which means that his days were short. We felt like he'd have a few weeks left. I called my wife this morning and learned that he had passed away over night. We talked for a few minutes and I decided to just get up, since sleep kinda sucked anyway and I was still processing the news. My wife will need to go to California for a while to attend the funeral and help her family. We can't afford to send the whole family. I'll be working from home so that I can take care of the boys, do their home-schooling, and take them to their various activities. I know my wife is needed in California and that it's best for her to be there, but I'll desperately miss her. I'll have to deal with a week or so of "empty bed syndrome" and perhaps some sleep-deprived nights. I'm not complaining. I know my wife is needed. I'll just miss her, that's all. At least I'll have my boys to keep me company and to fill the house with sound. But, there is something about having my wife next to me in bed that brings me comfort and peace.